"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a bridge!" "What has come over you?" "3 cars and a bus!!!" "Doctor, Doctor! My brother thinks he's a chicken!" "How long has he had this problem?" "About 5 years" "5 years! Why didn't you see a doctor sooner?" "Because we needed the eggs!" "Doctor, Doctor! I have this terrible memory loss problem!" "When did this memory loss start?" "What memory loss?" "Doctor Doctor! My legs keep talking! Here, have a listen!" "Go on mate, lend us a hundred pound will ya? Come on please!" "Well, you are right, your legs are certainly talking" "Well, Doc, what's wrong with them?" "Yep, your legs are broke!" "Doctor! Doctor! My son thinks he is a refrigerator!" "When is it worse?" "At night ... he opens his mouth and the light turns on!" "Doctor, Doctor! Can you give me something for wind?" "Yes - here's a kite!" "Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a dustbin!" "What rubbish!" "Doctor, Doctor! I think I'm a bee!" "Buzz off!" "Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache!" "Why?" "Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it!" "Doctor, Doctor! I broke my arm!" "Well put it back on!" "Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I'm a goat" "How long have you felt like this?" "Since I was a kid!" "Doctor, Doctor! I think I need glasses! " "You sure do - this is a fish and chip shop!" "Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a snooker ball!" "Oh, please go to the end of the queue!" A guy walks into the Doctor's office with a grape in his nose, a banana in his ear, and a apple under his chin.  He asks the doc " I don't feel too good what is wrong with me?" The doc says " Son you are not eating right".